Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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