You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
