i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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