i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
