Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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