Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
