Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
