we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
