she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
