you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?