Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules