At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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