You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
