I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.