I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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