I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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