thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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