i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think your dad took our porno
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
