she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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