Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The power of my boobs compel you
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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