I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
