Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
