In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
