Swine flu. Run for my life!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
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explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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