i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize