Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
