Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
