: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i drank out of a bidet.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
