You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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