Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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