Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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