I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
