hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
