I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
