I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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