I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
