she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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