How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she peed on how many people?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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