the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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