you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
