Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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