based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He felt like a one man threesome
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
