How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
