she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
