There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
