For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
