12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize