Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Can i not drive my cunt home
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
