the new term for farting is butt boxing.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
