Dual....:-)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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