You're so nebulous sometimes
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
