Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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