i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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