Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
