Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
