She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
