i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
