I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
