Porn is love you can see.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's shark week go big or go home
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
