scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
