you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
