She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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