i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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