I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
