Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
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It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
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I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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