Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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